


It Could Be You

by st4rsh1ne



Category: Blur (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, dalex is an underrated ship dammit, ok i just love them bye, that's why i'm here, they deserve more love smh!!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:42:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24710059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/st4rsh1ne/pseuds/st4rsh1ne
Summary: It was on a gloomy tuesday that college student Alex James was caught in the rain while waiting for the morning bus. It was on that same tuesday he met Damon Albarn, and things began to change very very quickly.
Relationships: Damon Albarn/Alex James
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> hey!!! it's me again!!! :] writing a dalex fic because they are honestly my favorites and i love them to bits skdfhwjsdfgnv they're a super underrated ship and there is BARELY any content for them so!! that's why i'm here lmao ANYWAY i hope you enjoy this first chapter!!! consider leaving a comment because they mean a lot!! and this fic is also being updated on my wattpad @/davystambourine if you wanna keep up with it there!!! thanks for clicking luv you guys ;]]

The sky was tinted a mixture of gray and faded blue, the cool wind was sending a chill through the leaves of the trees, and Alex was currently very very close to being late.

His footsteps were rapid on the city sidewalk as his right hand nervously clutched the strap of the bag resting over his shoulder. It felt heavier than usual; as if he needed anything else to weigh him down.

It was unbelievable. Even after several weeks of being back in school, he was still accidentally oversleeping. Curse that alarm clock, why did it never do its job?...Aside from the fact that Alex had gotten fed up with it one exhausting morning and took the batteries out of it?

Silently cursing himself for doing that, he tried to keep his focus on walking. He just hoped with all his might that it wouldn't rain. That was the last thing he needed on the one day he decided against packing an umbrella.

Though it was only 7 AM, there was a fair amount of cars breezing by on the otherwise empty streets, occasionally sending a small gust of wind through Alex's dark, somewhat messy hair. Seeing as there was still very little traffic, that means the bus couldn't possibly take very long to get to him, could it?

Finally reaching his destination, Alex stopped his walking to stand idle by a metal sign that was just a little taller than him. There was nothing left to do now but wait, which proved itself to be a difficult task when you were that close to being late.

His eyes repeatedly shifted from his watch to the street corners then back to his watch in a seemingly endless cycle of impatience.

At this rate, he was definitely going to be late for French class.

Looking up at the cloudy sky, his eyes seemed to ask a question; Where is that bloody bus?

The sky answered with a sudden drop of water colliding with the tip of his nose, followed by another, and another after that...

Before he knew it, rain was pouring down from the sky as if it hadn't rained in years. Alex audibly groaned in annoyance. That wasn't the answer he was looking for.

As the rain was barreling down from the sky, there still seemed to be no sign of the bus. At this point, he began to consider turning back around and just taking the day off. But the sound of faint footsteps within earshot getting closer briefly interrupted his thought process. He turned his head around when he heard the steps coming up behind him.

A somewhat shorter boy who looked about his same age, his hair a light shade of brown, clutching a dark-colored umbrella walked up beside him. Alex looked at the object in his hand enviously, but his expression lightened when he looked down at the boy's face. He had soft blue eyes that blended perfectly with the misty, gray sky, and a rather nice nose that scrunched up for a split second as he blinked and then gave him a polite smile.

"Did you sleep in too?"

Alex looked away, a little embarrassed. "Yeah." He admitted. "Second time this month. You'd think I'd learn." He kept his head facing the ground to avoid getting the rain in his face. He knew his hair would be in a rut the moment he got indoors.

The other boy chuckled. "And of course it had to rain, on top of that." He looked to the other direction as he spoke. "I'm getting on the next bus after this one. I'll have to be out here a while."

Alex observed his voice as he spoke. It was a perfect mixture of melodic and deep, forming words that came out calm and smooth. He quickly took a liking to hearing this mysterious boy talk. He wondered what else he had to say.

He shivered where he stood as the cold rain continued to fall onto his skin. It brought him back into reality, and back into wishing that bus would hurry up. Until suddenly the rain wasn't hitting him anymore, causing him to finally raise his head up.

The dark umbrella was now being held above him, shielding him. Instantly, he looked over to the boy standing next to him, who was now standing much closer. He had to extend his arm upwards a little more in order to fit him under it, but he made it work.

He smiled. "I thought you needed it."

Alex returned the smile to show his appreciation. He definitely wasn't wrong. "T-Thanks, mate."

It was unusual, standing this close to a total stranger, but Alex wasn't complaining. It saved him from getting even more drenched, at least. Plus, something about him gave Alex a good feeling. There wasn't anything to be afraid of.

"Oh, wait," the boy holding the umbrella suddenly spoke up. "I probably should've mentioned it." He laughed a little. "My name's Damon."

Hearing Damon's laugh made Alex feel different now that he had a name to associate with it. In fact, he was now beginning to pay a bit more attention.

He was actually kind of...

Cute.

The taller boy snapped himself out of his thoughts when he realized he hadn't responded. "Alex." He replied. "It's short and easy to remember."

Damon nodded, giving him a grin. "I think I'll remember."

The rain was still falling, but Alex was beginning to feel just a little warmer as he sat under the umbrella, glancing back at the street. Suddenly, he heard tires skidding and faint metal clanking coming fast from around the corner.

There it finally was.

"Oh!" Alex stood up straighter when he saw it, stepping out from under the umbrella so he could be seen, and then turning back to Damon. "Well, uh, I've got to go now. My ride and all that." He grinned awkwardly. He was cursing himself for not being able to create better conversation. What kind of explanation was that?

As the bus grew nearer, Damon suddenly passed the handle he was holding over to him, their roles now reversed as the rain was now coming onto Damon instead. "Here, you keep it."

Alex's eyes widened as he tried to pass it back to him. "Oh, no, I can't-"

"Really, it's fine! You look like you could use it." He insisted, looking at the boy's drenched appearance and giggling a little. "I've got a spare in my dorm room, anyways."

Before Alex could protest any more, the bus had already arrived to them and stopped, its doors flying open as soon as it came to a halt. He couldn't risk being any more late than he already was. He had to get a move on.

"T-Thank you!" He quickly said to Damon, who seemed pleased. "If I see you around, I'll give it back!"

"Well, go on, then!"

He didn't need to be told twice. In a flash, he got the umbrella down to its original form and stepped up onto the bus, sitting down onto the first open seat he saw upon entering. Holding the item he'd be given, which was beginning to drip a few stray raindrops onto the floor, he looked out the window at Damon one last time before the vehicle was in motion and speeding away.

He let out a sigh when he looked down at himself, his dark clothes now darker from the rain. He hoped they would dry off before he arrived.

But most of all, he silently hoped he would see Damon again. He had something that belonged to him, so perhaps now he had to.

Alex smiled to himself at the thought.

That wouldn't be so bad.


	2. Chapter Two

Even after he'd finally made it to his first class (albeit several minutes late), the memory of the early morning experience was sticking around in his mind. He wasn't quite sure why, but he found himself thinking about it throughout the day.

The scene played over and over. The sound of the falling raindrops hitting the sidewalk, some of those drops hitting him as well, looking over and seeing the sight of the stranger he'd met at the bus stop handing him his umbrella, the boy's blue eyes looking right into his as a smile crossed his face.

A stranger...

A kind of good-looking stranger...

"James? Are you listening?"

He blinked, his train of thought skidding to a halt as he rapidly turned his head upwards. All of a sudden, the class was staring at him, causing him to blush in embarrassment. Still, he had to reply. "U-uh, yes sir."

At least no one was laughing at him. But then again, he hated how painfully silent the room was.

His professor only shook his head, looking back toward the board. "Pay attention, Steven."

Alex cringed at the use of his first name. It's not like it was a particularly embarrassing name; he just didn't like it. He already used to get picked on enough for seeming posh, and having a first name like that didn't help. So he just stuck with Alex instead; his middle name.

That's why the only people on Earth who called him Steven were his mother...and, for some annoying reason, his French professor.

Rolling his eyes, he slumped down into his seat, staring down at the open page of his notebook, which, ironically, had barely any notes on it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I mean, I don't get it! Isn't it easier to just say 'Alex' instead of 'Steven'? Why must he insist on calling me that every time?!"

Graham shrugged, a smirk flashing on his face. "Whatever you say, Steve."

Alex jokingly elbowed him in the side. "Alright, Leslie."

Once French class had ended (which seemed to take an eternity on its own), he had a free period. Alex was sure the purpose of the free period was meant to be for studying, but he usually spent it hanging out with his good friend Graham Coxon in the school's courtyard. Sitting on a bench under a tree, its leaves next to motionless as the misty, humid air passed through them, the two boys recounted to each other the events of their morning, as they'd always done since Alex started school there.

"You wanna see my art assignment?" Graham asked, his voice sounding proud. "I spent all night working on it."

"Well, go on, let's see it, then."

Graham leaned down to where his backpack sat next to him, unzipping it and digging through it for a moment until he revealed a canvas roughly the shape of a magazine page, turning it horizontally and handing it to his friend. 

It was an oil pastel painting of a field of grass, the main attractions in the scene being a handful of tulips to the left and some farmlife off in the distance.

Alex nodded, smiling at him. "Impressive, Gra. It's even better than the last one you showed me." He raised a finger to point at a figure on the painted horizon. "The zebra's a nice touch."

"It's a cow, you knob."

"Oh. I see it now."

As Alex was admiring the craftsmanship behind this particular cow, suddenly a large water droplet fell onto where it sat on the canvas.

"Hey!"

As Graham took his painting back to try and dry it, that droplet was joined by several others now falling from the sky, until, before they knew it, the rain was pouring down once again. Alex rolled his eyes, letting out an annoyed groan. Not this again.

But wait, Alex remembered. I actually came prepared this time.

Digging through his own bag, he pulled out the umbrella that had been given to him that morning, setting it up and raising it over their heads. Graham scooted closer to Alex, holding his painting, desperately trying to dry it off. "Bloody hell, this'll ruin it!" As he fanned the painting with his hand, he glanced up at the umbrella. "Since when do you own an umbrella?"

"Since now, I suppose."

"Makes sense." Graham muttered. His eyes narrowed as he stared up at the umbrella until they suddenly widened. "Hey, where'd you get it, anyway?"

Alex was startled by the sudden question. "Some nice chap gave it to me this morning. Why?"

"That's Damon's umbrella!" Graham looked very excited. He always was when he talked about Damon.

Now it was Alex's turn to be surprised as his heart did a leap and the image of the boy and his blue eyes came back into his mind. "That's the Damon you've been telling me about??"

"The one and only!" Graham was grinning ear to ear. "I didn't know the two of you met!"

"We hadn't. Until this morning, that is." Alex glanced out at the falling rain. "It was raining just about this hard. He gave me his umbrella right before I hopped on the bus." He looked back over to Graham. "I feel like I should give it back to him. Once it stops raining, of course."

"Tell you what," Graham began as he continued to fan his painting. "Once classes are done for the day, we can go see him and you can return it."

"Could we?" Alex was beginning to get a little excited at the thought of seeing him again, now that he'd learned he and Graham are good friends. He'd heard so many stories about a Damon Albarn that Graham had grown up with, but he'd never seen a face to put with the name.

"Sure!" Graham seemed eager at the thought too. "He takes Musical Composition here on Tuesdays, y'know. Last class of the day. We could drop by then, maybe hang out for a bit, and give it back."

"Okay, let's do that!"

As the once heavy rainfall was beginning to die down, Alex looked down at the watch on his wrist. They didn't have much time at all left of their break. He got up from the bench, slinging his bag over his shoulder, but still holding the umbrella over Graham, who placed his painting carefully back into his backpack.

"Let's pray by the time I get to art class, that cow looks more like a cow than a zebra."

"Don't count on it." Alex teased. By the time Graham had stood up, the rain had almost completely stopped, now reduced to a light sprinkle. Deciding it was no longer needed, Alex put Damon's umbrella back into his bag and began to walk with Graham to his art class. He wasn't in that big of a hurry to get to where he was going, so he had time to walk him.

"Hey, Gra? Do you, erm...Do you think Damon will like me?" Admittedly, it was a silly question, but one that Alex felt was necessary to ask. 

His friend gave him a smile. "I say you've got a good chance already. He wouldn't have done that for just anyone."

For some reason, this made Alex blush. These words gave him a small glimmer of hope, but he tried his best not to let it show too much. All the stories Graham had told him about Damon sometimes made him wish he knew him like Graham did.

Maybe Damon would want to know him too.

Maybe.


	3. Chapter Three

The rest of the day was passing through like an afternoon breeze. If anything interesting had happened, Alex wasn't paying attention; his mind was constantly preoccupied thinking about what he had planned after school. 

He was going to see Damon again. If all went well, he'd have a chance to get properly acquainted with him.

What should he say? Should he try to just act cool? 

...Why was he so concerned with how Damon would perceive him, anyways?

As he sat in his last class, his head was filled with questions.

“Ah,” a sudden voice cut through his cloud of thoughts. “There you go again, thinking about something.”

Alex looked over to his left side, where his mate, Adam, was smirking at him in the seat next to his. 

“What, do I not normally think?” Alex replied, though his voice still sounded distracted.

Adam laughed. “I bet you're thinking about Justine, aren't you!”

Alex almost cringed at the mention of the name, his girlfriend's, though he wasn't sure what reason he had to. 

Justine Andrews was everything he'd ever wanted. He cared deeply for Justine. It's just that ever since he moved away from Bournemouth, he'd been thinking about her less. He supposed it was inevitable; she lived nearly two hours away now, they never saw each other, and they only ever spoke through letters or on the phone. Not to mention how Alex was busy in his first year of college. Still trying to make time for her was almost beginning to feel like a chore. But he had to do it. He loved Justine. He wasn't going to let a little distance (physical, and, perhaps, emotional) come between them. Not after all they'd been through.

But he wasn't about to tell Adam all of that. Not today.

“What gave it away?” Alex decided to just play along.

“It's obvious,” his friend replied, his smirk turning into a grin. “You get that look on your face.”

Alex's cheeks turned a light shade of pink from slight embarrassment. Was it that noticeable? 

But wait, why did he make “that face” when thinking about Damon, anyways?

Great, Alex thought to himself, as he rolled his eyes and turned back toward the front of the room. More questions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His head was lost in thought right until class was over. Once it had finally concluded was when he immediately perked up, quickly grabbing his things and exiting. 

All he needed to do now was find Graham, which wasn't difficult, seeing as he was waiting outside the room for him.

Graham flashed him a smile as soon as he was close to him. “You ready?”

“Why wouldn't I be? I'm just handing him back his umbrella.” Alex played it off like it wasn't that big of a deal (perhaps it really wasn't), but on the inside, he was just a little nervous. Maybe Graham could tell, or maybe he couldn't; he didn't bring it up, which Alex was partly thankful for. 

The Musical Composition room was on the other end of the campus, but the walk over there gave him time to compose himself. The fact that Damon was in such a class made Alex curious; he must have an interest in music. Even better; he must have an interest in making it. This made Alex excited. That was something they already had in common.

When they finally reached the room, the door was open, from where the students from the previously held class had all left. There was only one person left inside the decently sized space, who was sticking a notebook inside his bag, his messy light-colored hair hanging down in front of his eyes.

Damon.

Graham looked over to Alex and nodded, signaling to him that they were heading inside.

Here goes nothing, Alex thought.

“Oi!” Graham got his attention. Damon's head instantly jolted upwards in surprise, but when he saw Graham, his face lit up, and the two met in the middle of the room, excitedly greeting each other. Alex felt awkward as all he could do was timidly follow behind Graham, waiting for their introduction to conclude. 

After a second or two, Graham stepped to the side, extending his arm in Alex's direction. “Damon, this is my mate-”

“Alex!” Damon beamed at him. “I told you I'd remember your name.” It should've surprised Alex that he recognized him so quickly, but after all, they'd first met only a couple hours ago. 

He nodded, returning the smile. “Hey, Damon. I've heard a lot about you.” What a cliche thing to say, Alex thought.

“Good things, I hope.” Damon looked over at Graham, nudging him playfully with his elbow. “But then again you never know what's gonna come out of him.”

Graham smirked, rolling his eyes. “You're lucky I haven't told him any of the weird things!”

Suddenly, Alex remembered why he was there. “Oh, right.” Slinging his bag over his shoulder in front of him, he unzipped it and pulled out Damon's umbrella, now mostly dry and looking in pretty good shape, much to Alex's relief. “Here, mate,” he held it out toward him, waiting for him to grab it. “This is yours.”

Damon looked down at it, but didn't grab it. Instead, he only shook his head, “No, you keep it. I've got a spare, remember?”

Alex brought the umbrella back closer to him, his heart doing a small leap. “A-Are you sure?”

“'Course! You'll probably need it anyways. Lots of rain this week.”

Slowly, almost as if he expected Damon to change his mind, Alex inserted the umbrella back into his bag and zipped it back up. “T-Thank you!”

“I've got to be going in a bit. My mate's supposed to be picking me up.” Damon picked up his bag, shifting slightly where he stood. “Unless the bastard's late. Then we've got all the time in the world.”

Graham laughed a little. “It's a shame you're only here once a week.”

“Well, y'know, one university is already enough. One class at a different one is pushing it.”

Alex was listening closely. That must be why he didn't remember ever seeing Damon before that morning. He went to a different school. For the longest time, he only existed to Alex as this sort of enigma that Graham mentioned sometimes.

But he was real. Real, and, from what Alex could gather from their first few encounters, lovely.

While he was spaced out, he tuned back into reality to discover Damon and Graham having some sort of lively conversation. Alex wasn't saying much, and he wanted to curse himself for it, but he figured at least he wasn't talking too much. Suddenly, the two boys went quiet when the honking of a car from outside interrupted them.

“And that's probably him.” Damon started outside, with Graham and Alex following swiftly behind. They stopped when they were out the door, and briefly resumed their conversation.

“Well, ehm, it was nice meeting you properly, Alex.” Damon nodded, extending a hand for Alex to shake. 

This caught Alex by surprise, but he shook his hand. “Yeah, definitely.” He agreed. He had to let go of Damon's hand pretty quickly, but he couldn't help but notice just how...soft it felt. Soft, but also firm.

“I've got an idea,” Damon began. “How about you lot come over to my flat tomorrow night? Me and Graham can tell you all about the stupid shit we used to do.” He grinned devilishly at his friend.

“And the two of you can get better acquainted!” Graham added, showing his approval.

“What do you say, Alex?”

It didn't take him very long at all to make a decision. “Sure! 7 or so maybe?”

“Right then!” Damon looked excited. Suddenly, the car honk they'd heard a minute before sounded off again, causing him to groan. “Someone's impatient. Right, I'll be seeing you all.”

“See you tomorrow!” Graham waved at his friend, who hurried off in the direction of his mate's car. Alex watched him walk away until he was out of sight. 

“So...tomorrow then, eh?”

Graham nodded, and the two set off walking together. Graham usually walked him to the bus stop, before then heading home himself. “It's mad. When I first met him he was an arse. But when he meets you he's all pleasant-like!”

“You met when you were twelve.”

“Still!”

Alex laughed, then settled down to ask a more serious question. “...You think he liked me?”

Graham looked over at him, giving him a smile. “Yeah,” he said. “I really think so.”

That was all Alex wanted to hear.

The encounter was in his mind for the rest of the afternoon, even long after he and Damon had parted ways. He was thinking about it right up until he'd finally made it home to his modest flat across town. When he opened his front door, he saw a letter laying right on the floor mat.

The mail must have come while he was away.

He picked the envelope up and took a glance at it.

A letter from Justine.

He placed it on his living room table, then headed to his room for a much needed afternoon nap.

It could wait until tomorrow.


	4. Chapter Four

Just as predicted the afternoon before, a new day brought in tow a brand new barrage of rain. 

However, this time, it wasn't a problem for Alex. Smiling down fondly at Damon's umbrella given to him yesterday, he picked it up and headed out the door of his flat. Seeing the umbrella only further reminded him that, unlike most days, he had plans later on, and he couldn't be any more excited.

The thought buzzed around in his head all the way to the bus stop at the street. When he got there, no one else was around, but almost immediately after he stopped walking he heard footsteps coming towards him. As he gazed out at the street, his umbrella shielding him, he noticed the footsteps cease after a moment or two. 

“You look familiar.”

Alex whipped his head around when he heard the sudden voice. The voice that belonged to a slightly shorter boy with light-colored hair and a certain attitude unlike any other.

Alex smirked at him. “Hey, Damon.”

Damon stood close to him as they waited together. “Cold, isn't it?”

Small talk. 

Alex nodded. “Usually is.” He was almost a little disappointed, like he expected a little more conversation-wise. But then again, he still didn't know him that well yet.

A moment or two passed until Damon spoke again, this time presenting a new topic. “You still coming later tonight?”  
Alex looked over at him, smiling. “Yeah, of course. 7, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” He nodded. “We'll be there.”

The silence that kept plaguing their conversation was practically deafening. It seemed, for some reason, it was easier to talk to Damon when Graham was around. It made it less awkward; less quiet.

Would he ever be able to talk to Damon without needing him there?

The sound of wheels rolling down the soaked street was within earshot now, causing Alex to turn around. Sure as ever, it was his bus. 

Hm. That's unusual. It's early today. But Alex for sure wasn't complaining.

As he stepped forward, prepared to get on once it stopped, he looked back at Damon. “I'll see you later.”

Damon just winked in reply. A feeling fluttered in the bottom of Alex's stomach before he turned away and sat down. He leaned his head back on the window and stared up at the bus ceiling, sighing.

The feeling inside him burned for another moment before fading out as the bus rolled into motion. He almost wanted to look back at Damon through the window, but ultimately decided against it. Whatever that weird feeling was, he wasn't quite sure if he wanted to feel it again. He had to fight back the urge to groan in annoyance at himself; what even was that conversation? Damon probably thought he was boring now. 

He looked down at his umbrella, Damon's umbrella, folded up, raindrops sliding off the side forming small puddles on the floor.

Maybe later he'd get a chance to redeem himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rain could still be heard pummeling the ground below from the warm interior of the university lunch hall. Alex usually liked eating his lunch outside, but today staying inside was a much drier alternative. Sitting across from him at a circular table with two other empty seats on either side was who else but Graham, who was more concerned with the piece of paper currently in his hand than his food.

“I don't even fucking believe it!” Graham set the paper down with a firm thwap, revealing it to be his art grade. “10 points off of my painting grade because a bit of rain fell on it. It's times like this I wonder why I'm even here.”

He said a little more after that, but Alex wasn't paying attention. His mind was clouded with a hundred different things. School assignments, upcoming classes, homework he probably forgot to finish...The night ahead of him, with Graham and Damon...but out of everything else, the most prominent thought was of Justine's letter.

Why was he so hesitant to open it? It could be important, you know...But since when were not all of her letters important to him?

...Was he subconciously trying to ignore her?

“Oi!”

Alex blinked, straightening his posture and crossing his arms on the table. “Sorry.”

Graham raised an eyebrow. “Something's bothering you.”

Alex sighed, looking to the side. “I'll say.”

“What is it?” Graham's voice was soft; understanding. To Alex, and probably everyone else who knew him, he was the best person to talk to when you had a problem. Graham just naturally cared about other people. Someone like that was rare. Someone like Graham was even rarer.

Alex was tense, but he opened up anyway. “I got this letter yesterday. From my girlfriend.”

“Oh, right, I forgot you had a girlfriend.”

That said something all on it's own. Still, he continued. “Usually the minute I get one from her I'm already ripping it open. But I set the one from yesterday aside and I haven't even thought about opening it.” He bit his lip. “It's not like I haven't had time. For some reason it's like I just...I don't know.” He shook his head.

Graham hummed in thought. “You should open it. It's from your girl after all. No reason to put it off, is there? Unless...” It looked like he got a sudden additional thought. “Have you two been fighting or anything?”

Alex was rapid to dismiss the thought. “No, no, not at all. We've never fought.”

“There must be some explanation for it...but I won't pry.” 

I almost wish you would, Alex thought. He knew it would probably help to talk about this with someone, but why bother? Maybe nothing's even really wrong. Maybe it's just him. Maybe it'll pass.

“We're fine.” He concluded. “I'll open it when I get home.”

Maybe if he said it out loud, he'd believe it.

Not really feeling much better, he took a defeated bite of his biscuit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In what seemed like no time at all, all classes were over, and the two were outside, waiting to catch up with Damon. They'd been there for several minutes, and they were starting to grow just a little impatient. 

“Where the fuck is he! He said he'd meet us!”

Well, Graham was getting impatient. Alex's anxiety was beginning to pile up once again, forming a pit deep in his stomach. He wanted to see him; but at the same time, he wasn't in any hurry. But he felt like no matter when Damon showed up he still wouldn't be 100 percent ready. 

But that's okay.

After a few more minutes, they saw a car coming around the corner. It was a very shiny looking car; it's silvery gleam like a satellite under the dreary grey-blue sky and drizzly weather. It was impossible to not look at it. Capturing the eyes of Graham and Alex, it smoothly braked right next to the sidewalk near where they were standing. Suddenly, the window rolled down, revealing who was inside.

“Damon! You got your car fixed!”

Damon grinned. “Took fucking forever. No more taking the bus and hitching rides from Dave now.”

Alex's feelings were a mix of wonder at the sheer volume and wonder of Damon's car, and almost slight disappointment that he wouldn't see him at the bus stop anymore. But he tried his best to make the first emotion overpower the other.

Damon looked at Alex and winked. “What do you think, huh?”

All of those feelings were replaced by an entirely new one when Damon winked at him.

Alex, his cheeks feeling warm, nodded. “I-It's class. I didn't know you had a car.”

“Well what are you lot waiting for? Come on, we've got a date, don't we?”

From the pit of his stomach emerged a fluttery feeling when the word “date” was uttered, but he said nothing else. Instead, the two boys got into the back seat. The way some people around were watching them, Alex almost felt like a celebrity. Ha, what a funny thing to think about.

As the heat of the car rested on his skin, he felt calm; he felt comfortable.

Whatever came next, he was sure he'd be ready.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RRRRRR SORRY MY UPDATES HAVE BEEN SO INFREQUENT i've had a lot going on in my life lately,,, but these two still manage to make me happy so i've been working very hard on this next chapter :']]] thank you all for waiting!!!! i hope you enjoy <333333

Through the window of the car, the clouds appeared to pass by further into the sky's now muted darkish blue until they were out of sight, replaced by the next ones. Resting his arm on the car door, Alex watched them go past. Or maybe it was them who were going past. 

It was probably them, actually.

He would've thought about it more, but after a while, the car had rolled to a halt, and, to his almost disappointment, it looked like the ride was over. 

Damon, then Alex and Graham, stepped out and closed their doors behind them, looking up at where they had arrived.

A row of stairs leading to doors, all fairly spaced apart from one another. The stereotypical set of British flats. It was different than Alex's, but he always found the outsides of these apartments aesthetically pleasing. When you saw them on the street, you just knew you were in a British city. And when looking at Damon, it made sense to him that he'd live somewhere like here.

He led Alex and Graham to one of the doors, then reached in his pocket and pulled out a key, promptly using it. Gently, he pushed the door open and stepped inside, the two following behind. It was dark for a split second until Damon flipped on the lights, allowing Alex to look around.

“I haven't been here in forever,” Graham said, sounding very comfortable.

“Hasn't changed much.” Damon replied.

Alex looked around from where he stood. Directly to the right, near the door, was the kitchen. There was a wall with an opening in it where you could see through to the living room that seperated it from the rest of the flat. It had the standard; some counters, one with a radio on it, a nice oven and fridge, and a table with two chairs directly under a window. Alex wondered how nice it was to be there in the morning, with the warm sun pouring in and a good plate of scrambled eggs. And maybe some orange juice...

...That was odd. Why was he thinking about that, of all things?

Moving on, he found himself in the living room, where Damon and Graham were on the sofa, joking in their usual playful demeanor. 

The sofa was against the wall to Alex's right. On the wall to his left was the TV, that wasn't currently on, but looked very nice. He didn't notice what was next to it until Graham pointed it out.

“Woah!” He got up, walking to Alex's side, and pointed at the rectangular item. “You've got a Nintendo?! That wasn't here last time I was here!!”

“When were you last here anyway?” Not even Damon could remember. Still, he walked over to the others as they marveled at the brand new video game system. 

“Does it work?! Can we play?!”

“Of course it works! Turn it on, Gra, see for yourself.”

Following Damon's instructions, he pushed a button on the front, turning it on. Once the game was up and ready to go, Damon reached behind the TV and grabbed two controllers, then handing one to Graham. Alex looked himself for a third one, but...

“Oh. I forgot. I've only got two.” Damon sounded disappointed. “Sorry, mate.”

Alex sighed. “S'alright.”  
Suddenly, Damon perked up. “Hey! Are you lot hungry? I could make something while you two play.” He smiled at Alex after he said it.

“Yeah, alright!” Graham agreed. “You make something and I'll be better than Alex at 'Punch-Out' in the meantime.” He grinned.

“Oh, come off it! And give me that.” Alex replied, then grabbed a controller from Graham, flashing a competitive smirk.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“SHIT!”

Graham couldn't help but laugh as game over sound effects sounded from the tv. “That's the 4th time he's beat you!”

Right at that moment was when Damon finally came back, setting down a plate of three grilled cheese sandwiches on the coffee table.

“Ah, Dames, you always were the culinary type.”

Damon rolled his eyes, smiling. “I just didn't know what Alex would like, that's all.”

Alex looked up at him and returned the smile. He thought it was sweet that Damon even considered what he might like. 

“Want a drink or anything?”

Graham immediately jumped at the opportunity after taking a bite of his grilled cheese. “Got any beer?”

Damon laughed a little. “What do you think?” Then he looked over at Alex. “What about you?”

Suddenly, all thought escaped him. Alex was cursing himself. He hated when he did that. What did he want to drink, anyway?

“G-Get me the same.”

There, that wasn't so hard. Damon winked and headed back into the kitchen as the two ate in the living room, the video game still on the TV, waiting to be played again. But it would have to wait for right now. 

Soon enough, the three were united in the living room; having a drink, joking around, talking. Damon was sitting right next to Alex, which only made him just a little bit nervous. It only made him repeteadly look over at him a couple hundred times. It took a while for him to even notice at all that the sky was completely dark, and it was rapidly becoming nighttime. 

After a while, during the aftermath of another joke, Damon stood up and went to the bathroom, leaving Alex and Graham alone.  
Alex was still giggling from the previous punchline. “He's something else, isn't he, Graham?”

He looked over at his friend, who was fast asleep.

Apparently, he was so wrapped up in Damon's company, he'd also failed to notice that Graham was completely out, head laid back and hands folded across his stomach, snoring very quietly, and looking very peaceful.

Good for him, of course, but now that familiar feeling of nervousness was returning to Alex. Would he be okay talking to Damon one-on-one? Well, he was doing it before, wasn't he? And doing a pretty good job.

The bathroom door opened, and out walked Damon. Alex took a deep breath. Here we go.

“Aww,” Damon smiled when he saw Graham, still sleeping where he sat. “Not surprising. He's always passin' out after he's had a few.”

“I don't blame him. Poor bloke's had an interesting day.”

Damon sat back down and looked at him, a flicker of curiosity then showing in his expression. “How long have you two known each other?”

He shifted, sitting up a little straighter as he cleared his throat to answer. “Since I moved here and started university. So...about a month now.”

“Where'd you move from?”

“Bournemouth,” Alex replied. “Just southwest of here. I thought I'd be alone for a while when I first moved in, since I didn't know anybody up here.” He looked over at Graham. “But on my first day here, I met him.”

“That's how he is, y'know. Always ends up being everyone's friend.” But that was all he said about Graham. “What do you take in school?” Once he immediately changed the subject, it was clear to Alex that his objective was to know more about him.

Alex cleared his throat. “Nothing specifically. Mainly I just care about French.”

“You speak French?” Damon's eyebrows rose for a split second as if he were impressed. “Say something in French.”

Oh, great, Alex thought. I can barely manage a conversation with him in English.

“Ah...Je ne sais pas quoi dire?”

Damon smirked. “Brilliant. I've got no clue what you just said, but it's brilliant.”

Shyly, Alex smiled back. 

“I do drama in school.” Damon explained, which, to Alex, explained a lot. “Except I don't go to your school; I go to a different one. Except when I'm at yours for Musical Composition, that is.”

“You like music?”

He nodded. “Music and acting are my main things. Graham told me you play bass, is that right?”

It surprised Alex that Damon knew that. Still, he nodded. “Y-Yeah. As a hobby.”

Damon was looking at Alex's hands for a moment, until he looked back up. “That's interesting. I'm shite at instruments, that's why I usually sing. But I write songs sometimes anyway, if you can believe that.” He grinned.

“I should ask you to sing something.”

He laughed. “Not now, I'd wake Graham up. Maybe one day you'll hear me sing, though.”

Alex wondered what that would sound like. His stomach almost got a funny feeling just thinking about that.

“But even though I like all of that, I really want to get into acting.” Damon glanced down at the floor, as if he were shy telling him all of this, as if this was important to him, and he trusted Alex with knowing it. “Like...my school's doing a play this month, and I was thinking about trying out.”

“Really? What play is it?

“I think it was called...” He thought for a moment, trying to retrieve the memory. “Look Back in Anger, by a bloke named Osbourne or something.”

Alex nodded. “I've heard of that before, I think.”

“They haven't got anyone for the main role yet..but I'm not sure.”

“How come?”

“Well, what if I don't get it?”

“Is that the worst that can happen?” Alex looked him in the eye. “If you don't get it, that just means you weren't meant for it, y'know? And it clears the way for something else that will be meant for you.”

Damon raised an eyebrow. “Is that how you see it?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I've always kind of thought things happen for a reason. Everything that's ever happened in my life usually traces back to an event that already happened...” He tilted his head to the side as he looked at him. “Does that make sense?”

“No.” Damon shook his head, grinning. “You're drunk. You're getting all philosophical on me now.”

Alex just laughed. “Sorry.”

A rising feeling of tension was almost overpowering. It wasn't an awkard tension, by any means, but Alex was feeling some sort of overwhelming emotion arise in the atmosphere of the room that he just couldn't explain.

He wondered if Damon was feeling it too. But then again, why would he be?

“Christ.” He suddenly said, which caused Alex to glance over at the window, where he was looking. Outside between the blinds, it was pitch black. “How the fuck is it so dark already?”

Suddenly, Alex was reminded that he actually did not live in this house. “Shit. I should probably wake Graham up so we can head home.”

“No, no.” Damon quickly blurted out, then straightening his posture. “You lot can stay over if you want. I'll drive you home in the morning.”

“You'd really do that?”

“Well, you're in no state to walk, I'm in no state to drive. But we're in a good enough state to get some rest.”

Alex had to nod in agreement. “Right.” He blinked a couple times. He was already starting to get a little sleepy.

Though his eyes were closing, he heard Damon stand up. “You want a blanket or anything?”

Alex just muttered something in reply. Damon tossed a blanket in his direction, which he gladly took and covered himself with. He laid back and began to get comfortable.

“You want a bedtime story?”

“Fuck off.” Alex smiled, his eyes now shut. 

He couldn't see, but he knew Damon was giving him a smile. “If you need me, I'll be upstairs. Goodnight, Alex.”

He still loved the way he said his name. He made it sound much nicer than it actually was. And with that final thought, he drifted into sleep feeling, surprisingly, very at home.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry almost christmas everyone! :D i hope everyone has been well! i got a new laptop recently so hopefully i'll be able to update this fic more frequently, since my old one was so slow and often kept me from being able to do much of anything on it lmao, i love you all and thank you for reading!! i hope you enjoy this chapter <33333

When his eyes opened up the morning after and were met by the sight of Damon's living room ceiling, it took Alex a moment to remember how he'd gotten there.

He could hear a low hum of an air conditioner nearby, some birds chirping outside, and a bit of a bustle going on in the kitchen. Glancing over at the TV, he saw Damon's Nintendo, causing him to smile, and causing the memory of last night to return. 

His eyes then turned to himself, as he looked down and noticed a fuzzy blanket covering him. He felt like he remembered how he'd gotten it, but at the same time, it was a little fuzzy. Had Damon given it to him? 

Did he and Damon finally get to talk alone?

As his hungover brain hit a dead end trying to retrieve that memory, a sudden burst of headache struck him. “Shit,” he muttered to himself.”

A call sounded out from the kitchen. “Alex! You awake?”

“No!”

“Great! Get in here!”

Another voice from the kitchen was quieter than the first. “Ahg, not so loud, please, Damon.”

Forcing himself up, Alex folded the blanket up and set it neatly on the couch. His hand on his head, trying to nurse his headache, he made his way toward his two friends.

As he approached, he took in the scene of the kitchen. The curtains were pushed to each side of the kitchen window, allowing the sunlight to pour in, accompanied by the sounds of cars passing by on the street and trees rustling ever so gently in the morning breeze. 

Damon had one hand on the handle of a frying pan, while the other hand was sprinkling some salt over the dish he was cooking. A coffee mug was sitting idle on the counter next to him. The radio was playing some cheery tune that Alex wasn't awake enough to recognize right away. It was amazing how Damon had such a pep in his step, compared to the other two, even though they had all drank a considerable amount. Setting the salt shaker down, he looked over at Alex, giving him a smile. “G'morning.”

He smiled back. “Morning. Are those scrambled eggs?”

Damon nodded. “Hope you like them. Graham said you did, but then again, when he's in that state, you never can be sure.”

Alex turned to see Graham at the table, his head resting on his folded arms, groaning. “Can I have another coffee?”

He smiled as Damon quickly poured Graham a cup and set it down by his side. “There you are.” He walked back over to the stovetop, keeping close watch on the eggs cooking. “Once you finish breakfast, I'll take you home. I just didn't want you two to leave on an empty stomach.”

As Graham sipped his cup of coffee, Alex took the seat across from him at the table. However, he quickly noticed a problem. The table only had two chairs. 

Now he was wishing he hadn't sat down. How rude of him to take the chair of the person who lives there! What would he do now? This nervous feeling beginning to brew in his stomach, along with the hangover, was proving to be a dreadful combination. 

Right away, Damon noticed too, as he turned around, carrying two plates of scrambled eggs. “Oh, right, I didn't think about that.” He shrugged. “Oh well, I'll stand.”

Alex raised his hand slightly in protest. “No, no, mate, it's your house, I'll stand.”

“Nonsense! You're a guest!”

“No, really, I insist!”

Graham grumbled, his head still down, clutching his coffee cup. “Make up your mind, will you lot?”

Before Alex could say anything else, Damon set down a plate of eggs in front of him; along with a napkin, out of courtesy. He looked up at him, their eyes meeting.

Damon winked. “I'll be fine. You sit. Do you want coffee or orange juice?”

Once again, his mind went totally blank.

Oh god.

Why did he forget everything whenever he looked into Damon's pale blue eyes? What the hell are coffee and orange juice anyways?! This was proper embarrassing. He had to think fast. He had to say something, anything. 

“Water.”

...Water? Are you serious?

Damon raised an eyebrow, but his smile never waned. He filled a cup with some water and set it by his plate. “You sure are something, Alex.”

What did he mean by that? Looking away, blushing slightly, Alex tried to focus on his breakfast, taking a sip from his cup of water without another word. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alex looked out the window of the car as they cruised down the city street. He had such a good time in Damon's company; now that he knew it was about to come to a close, he almost didn't want to go home. But it seemed Graham had other plans, as he kept muttering about how he wanted to go home and take a nap as soon as possible. 

Alex was sure that was what he was doing now that they'd dropped him off at home. 

With Graham gone, it was just him and Damon. 

After an appropriate amount of time had passed, Alex spoke. “Thanks for the ride, mate.”

“'Course,” Damon replied, his eyes on the road.

“Hopefully we weren't too annoying.”

“Nah. Just the right amount of annoying.” He could sense Damon's smirk all the way from the back seat. Alex couldn't help but smile as well.

Looking out the window, he could see they were close to his flat now. He watched as they drove past the bus stop. It was strange seeing it there without any clouds in the sky or rain pouring down. But clearly he'd caught it on one of it's better days. 

Shortly after that the car stopped once again, right by Alex's destination. Swiftly exiting the car, so to not seem like he was lingering for some unknown reason, he shut the door behind him and was about to turn away when Damon stopped him.

“Also,” he began. “...Call me sometime, if you'd be up for it.”

He handed Alex a small piece of paper with a phone number scribbled onto it.

Alex felt like his knees had just been replaced with cardboard. His hands were shaky, and his cheeks were slightly pink, but he nodded, giving him a smile. “W-Will do. Thanks.”

Right as he'd turned around, Damon's car started again, and there he went. Alex looked back for just a second to watch him go.

He let out a sigh, which was more like a swoon, now that he thought about it, and smiled.

Did that really just happen?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alex entered his flat and immediately collapsed himself onto his couch. He wasn't sure why, he just felt like it was necessary. He couldn't stop thinking about that morning, about breakfast at Damon's house...about Damon. He felt like a schoolgirl with a crush or something, the way he thought about him.

His eyes widened. He sat up straight, trying to clear his head. No, no, no. No. Cancel that thought. Where did that come from? Bad analogy. Definitely. 

Sure, he could admit that Damon was...attractive, but he didn't have a crush on him. He couldn't. He had Justine, remember? It'd be wrong of him to think that way, even if she wasn't around. But he couldn't help but feel guilty. How come this new, good-looking stranger was occupying all his thoughts, when he hasn't even answered the letter his girlfriend sent him yet?

In an attempt to clear his guilty conscious, he finally picked up the envelope sitting on the table. He looked down at it for a moment, reading Justine's name, smiling a little at her handwriting, which he hadn't seen in the longest time. Then he did what he should've done days ago; he opened the letter.

His eyes scanned over the writing.

Alex,

How's everything going at university? Is it just as boring as you thought it would be? Haha. Not much has changed in Bournemouth, except you're not here, of course. Well anyway, I thought I'd tell you, I'm going to come visit you in London next weekend!!!!! I'll be there from Friday to Sunday! Hopefully we can make up for all the time we've been apart ;) 

I'll see you then!!

Jus

Next weekend? Alex tried to calculate when that would be now. Justine most likely wrote this letter last week, then it takes about 3 days to get to London, then he had waited another 3 days to finally open it. So, if it was written 6 days ago, last Saturday, then “next weekend” would be...

Alex's heart dropped into his feet.

Fucking hell.

That'd be TODAY.

Looking frantically around his flat, he realized...

“Christ! This place is a fucking mess!”

He could do some cleaning, but the thing is, he didn't know when Justine was going to show up.

That question was very quickly answered when a knock was heard at the door.

Now Alex wasn't sure what to do. He wished that he'd read the letter earlier instead of putting it off. He wished he weren't in this situation. He wished he were still at Damon's house, at his kitchen table, under the glow of the sun. He wished he were anywhere else, in fact.

But wait! Maybe it wasn't her.

“Aleeexx?? You there??” 

Great, now the door was talking. And it sounded a lot like Justine. 

Fuck.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaa is anyone still reading this fic?? HAJDHSJSFJKDNJF just a warning this chapter is a little shorter than usual i was gonna add more to it but then it would've been too long so >:]] this is what you get fot now KDSFBHSKGGF sorry i've been incredibly slow with updating my life has been very crazy but!!! i hope you enjoy!!!! and if you do pls pls consider leaving a comment bc it keeps me motivated and it rlly makes my whole day!!!! :D

There was only one thing Alex could do in that situation; the only rational thing to do.

Be silent, and pretend he was not home, of course.

Another knock was delivered onto the wooden door, emitting a firm sound that was sounding a little more impatient now. “Stevie?”

His face flushed with embarrassment. He knew the nicknames would only get worse from there if he didn't answer. Giving up the fight, he walked over to the door and reluctantly opened it slightly.

“I hate when you call me that.”

Justine's face lit up with a beaming smile. “I know.”

He smiled back at her. Seeing her smile made everything better somehow. Suddenly there was no reason in the world why he wouldn't want her to come inside, so he opened the door all the way and invited his girlfriend in.

Her head turned to take in the scenery of Alex's apartment. As she was looking around, Alex was just looking at her.

She looked about the same way she did when he last saw her. She still had her short, black hair, her slim figure, her t-shirt that was just a little big for her (because the shirt was actually his), and, from what he could tell, her usual spunky yet levelheaded and cool personality. That's what he liked most about her. In more ways than one, he felt she was cooler than he was. 

“This place is in a state.”

“How nice of you to notice.”

She finally turned to look him in the eye, her smile never fading, and enveloped him in a hug. “I missed you.”

Slowly, almost carefully, he hugged back. “I missed you too, Jus.” 

It was a comfort to him that he could say it with sincerity.

She set her luggage down, onto the coffee table, and sat down onto Alex's couch, which appeared to be the most tidy area in range to sit. “So, fill me in! How have things been?”

“Do you really wanna know?” Alex asked, half-jokingly, as he sat down next to her. She only giggled in reply, which must've meant that she really did.

“Well,” he started. “Uni's been okay. I've made a couple friends, so I haven't been totally alone.”

“Ooh! What are their names?”

He hesitated for a second, for a reason he wasn't even quite sure of. “My best mate's name is Graham. He's smart, very artistic. And there's Adam, he's pretty alright. And...” His heart fluttered just mentioning the name. “My most recent mate, his name's Damon. He's something else.”

Justine smiled. “They sound lovely. I hope I get to meet them!”

“Sure, I'll make it happen.”

Subtly, she intertwined her arm with his, gently grabbing onto his hand and laying her head on his shoulder. “No other girls, right?”

“'Course not!” 

Her eyes glanced up into his before she spoke again, her tone softer. “No one else?”

He tried his hardest not to bite his lip in nervousness, a pit of guilt threatening to creep back into his stomach. But he shook his head, forcing himself to meet her gaze. “No one.”

He wasn't lying to her. But why did it still feel wrong?

It was clear to him now; whatever he was feeling for Damon...it had to stop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, later in the day, Damon stood anxiously in the auditorium of his drama school, clutching a piece of paper with only a few sentences on it. There were other people there waiting with him, but he stood off to the side while they conversed among themselves.

It had taken a lot of courage on his part to show up for this in the first place. He prayed that it wouldn't turn out to be all for naught.

Suddenly, someone peaked out at the waiting crowd from behind the stage curtain. Scanning the area, their gaze finally landed on Damon, and they beckoned him over.

Surprised, but still nervous, Damon came over and stepped behind the curtain with them.

“Alright, Albarn,” they put their hands together as they smiled at him. “You've got the part.”

His eyes lit up in pure joy. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From across the room came a sudden ringing of the phone. 

Hm, that's funny, Alex wasn't expecting a call. He quickly looked over at Justine, who was taking a nap. All that traveling must have worn her out. She looked peaceful enough to be okay for a moment. As quietly as possible so to not disturb her, Alex got up and walked to the phone, answering it just before it would've rang again.

“'Ello?”

“Alex!”

He couldn't help but smile at the sound of the voice. “Hey, Damon.”

“You'll never believe what I've been up to today.”

“Yeah? Try me.” He grinned.

Damon paused for a moment, sounding very excited. “I tried out for that play at my drama school! I didn't think I'd be able to, 'cause I was very nervous, but something kept telling me I should do it.”

“Really! How did it go?”

“I did it, that's how! I got the part! The main part!”

It made Alex happy to hear Damon so happy. “Oh, wow, that's great!”

“I've got a ton of shit to memorize now, but this is...Exciting!” He laughed a little, still sounding like he was in disbelief of the whole thing. “Maybe you could come over sometime and help me rehearse.”

Alex blushed a little at the proposition. “S-Sure! Y-Yeah, anytime!”

“Ooh, who's that?” A soft voice questioned over from the couch. It sounded like Justine had been woken up.

Upon hearing her, Alex quickly wrapped up the call, said he'd talk to Damon later and went back over to her.

“Who was it?” She asked curiously.

“Just a mate.”

She only hummed in reply, accepting this answer. “I've been thinking a little bit. What if we went out somewhere together? Y'know, maybe tomorrow?”

Alex blinked. “Out?”

“Sure!” She smiled. “You could show me around. Take me somewhere here you like. Wouldn't it be fun?”

For some reason, he was unsure.

“Well...” It was making him nervous, how she was just looking at him confusedly as he tried to justify his hesitation. Eventually, he shook his head, abandoning the thought. “Sure. Yeah. I guess we could.”

Justine was pleased. “Tomorrow, then?”

Alex just nodded nervously. “Tomorrow.”

For a moment, he almost wished tomorrow weren't so close.


	8. Chapter Eight

On the evening of that following day, Damon was feeling pensive as he loosely held the phone to his ear, almost zoning out a bit. His eyes were fixed on one of his bedroom walls; not even one that had some pictures and posters on it, it was one that was all blank and boring.

“Damon?” Graham piped up on the other end, bringing him back into the conversation.”

“Fuck,” Damon cursed himself. “Sorry, Gra.”

“You've been doin' that a lot.”

“I know, just...Somethin's bothering me.”

“Really? Is it the play?”

Damon smirked a little. “No, but good guess. I was just thinking about...”

His voice trailed off. Suddenly he wished he never brought it up. This was a bit embarrassing. But he pressed on.

“I was thinking about Alex.”

He could tell that wasn't the answer Graham was expecting. “Alex?” His voice on the other end was surprised, but still interested.

“Yeah, like...Y'know, about yesterday, and...y'know.”

“I don't quite think I do.”

As if this wasn't embarrassing enough. Now he wasn't even making sense. His absentminded stare at the wall shifted into a glare, as he tried to be more clear. “I was just thinking about-!...y'know, whether you think he likes me or not!”

“Ohhh!” Graham laughed a little. “That's all?”

“Well, yeah. Just wondering and all.”

The line was silent for just a second, almost as if he were thinking about what to say. “I think he had a pretty good time yesterday, yeah. He seemed like he did.” He said, sounding pretty sure of himself. “But I think if you want the best possible answer, you should ask him yourself.”

“Ask him what?! 'Oi, do you think I'm a prick?'”

Graham laughed again. “Alright then, you wanna know what else I think?”

“Let's hear it!”

He could almost sense that Graham was smiling from the other end. “I think you like him a lot.”

Blushing slightly, Damon nodded, staring at the wall again. “Yeah,” he admitted softly. “Yeah, I do.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elsewhere, the city sidewalks were illuminated by streetlamps, car headlights and dimly lit flat windows, lighting up the path for Alex and Justine's first date in the longest time. Good thing Alex's ideal date location was within walking distance of his flat.

“Wow,” Justine was enthusiastic, walking ahead, though she didn't know the way. “This place is so interesting at night!”

“It gets old after a while.” Alex grinned.

“Nahhh, no way!”

Alex couldn't help but smile, seeing her stroll merrily ahead, head turning every which way to get a good look at all the sights, even if there were none. He could tell she had been looking forward to coming. She even looked the part, letting her (albeit, short) hair down and wearing a nice dark blue dress that wasn't too long or too short.

Even he looked pretty good in his white semi-casual dress shirt, slightly loose black tie and plain slacks. The tie really made the outfit, he thought.

He didn't really feel nervous. In fact, he had a good feeling inside. Maybe this evening wouldn't be that bad after all. And maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't be distracted by thinking about Damon.

He shook his head, mentally scolding himself. There he goes again, bringing up that name.

“Ooh, look!”

He glanced up to where Justine was excitedly pointing to, speeding up his walk a little to catch up with her. 

“Ah! That's it! That's the place I was telling you about.”

And it was quite an interesting looking place; in fact, Alex's favorite place in the city. A local retro diner, looking like it was taken straight out of some 70s movie. They could see the soft pink and purple lights on the ceiling from outside, letting out a pleasant glow through the window for passersby. They wasted no time in heading inside.

There were a couple other people there, but other than that, they didn't seem busy. Rows of tables and booths lined the walls; he took Justine to his usual table that was near the front and directly adjacent to the bar. They sat down and got comfortable, with them sitting next to each other on the same side of the table.

The table was a bit sticky, but he hoped Justine wouldn't notice.

“I've been here with Graham before,” he smiled, glancing around the place.

“Really?”

“Oh yeah. Usually at the bar, though.” He laughed a little to himself as he recalled a memory. “After he's had a few he always stands over by the jukebox to make sure nobody plays any Bowie.” 

Justine giggled. “Now why's he do that?”

“That's just him.” Alex shrugged, smiling. “He's a lovely bloke.”

Finally somebody came around and took their order. Justine ordered a chocolate milkshake with whipped cream. Alex just ordered a cup of water. What was it with him and water lately?

Justine smiled at him, her elbows resting on the table as she held her cheeks in her hands. “I really like this place. It's got a nice vibe to it.”

“I knew you'd like it.” He turned his head to meet her gaze, their eyes locked on one another.

That nervous feeling immediately dropped back into his stomach. 

In the back of his mind he hoped that what he thought was about to happen would not. 

Luckily, just in time, the waitress came back with his water cup and Justine's milkshake. They straightened themselves back up the moment she came over, with Justine only winking at him to serve as any acknowledgment of what they were just doing.

Oddly enough, for the rest of the time, there were strange patches of silence all through their date.

Every couple minutes or so, one of them would pipe up and make small talk, but other than that, things were going more...Awkward than Alex had originally expected.

They both could tell the night was coming to a close. Justine gently pushed the glass that once held her milkshake backwards on the table, then looked back at Alex. “I had fun,” she said softly. “Thanks for bringing me.”

“'Course,” Alex nodded. “Thanks for coming with me.”

Slowly, but quicker than the last time, she leaned in again, planting a kiss on his lips, which only lasted for about two seconds until Alex gently pulled away.

Justine just stared at him. “Why'd you do that?”

“Huh?”

She looked disappointed. “You didn't kiss back.”

He didn't say anything. He didn't really have anything to say.

She backed away slightly. “You've been acting strange since I got here, you know.”

“No I haven't!” He defended himself. “It's not that big of a deal.”

Her brows furrowed, like that last part offended her. “It is to me!” She stood up suddenly. “You moved away and now when we finally see each other again it's like you want nothing to do with me!”

“That's not true!” Alex was feeling smaller and smaller, nervously glancing around the room, wishing she would lower her voice a little. 

Her eyes were ablaze, digging daggers into his very soul, until he could see tears start to well. She didn't say anything for a moment, until she finally said one thing.

“...You've changed, you know?”

And with that being said, she turned away, and she was gone, leaving him in the dark glow of the fluorescent light above him. 

He didn't even try to go after her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOAHH LOOK AT ME UPDATING SEMI-FREQUENTLY this chapter was originally going to be merged with the next chapter but it was getting to be WAY too long so I decided to split them up lmao but the next chapter will be coming very very soon because at the time of writing this i'm like 80% done with it!!! thank you all for reading and i hope you enjoy <33333


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH THIS TOOK LONGER THAN EXPECTED- but it's finally here!!!! **just an fyi so no one is confused: in this chapter alex helps damon practice his lines for his play, and during this part the dialogue that is written in italics is play lines, and NOT their actual words! their actual words are written in plain text like always. this may be already obvious but i wanted to make this extra clear! another fyi, the play damon is in is a real play and the dialogue he's practicing is real dialogue from that play! so i guess i should take the time to say i don't own the play, all rights reserved, blah blah blah**
> 
> sorry this author's note was so long but as always thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy!!!! <33333

The night air seemed to get a little colder, the longer he stood outside, debating with himself what to do.

Should he go back to his flat and try to reconcile with Justine?

He shook his head. It's best to give her space when she gets like this. Bugging her excessively usually just leads to a bigger fight.

But then what should he do now, if not go home?

He thought a moment. Maybe he could call Graham? He could really use a friend right then. Someone to talk to.

But it was later in the evening now. Graham may be asleep. And he'd known Graham long enough to know he did not like being woken up prematurely.

If not Graham, then who else was there?

An idea popped into his head. He got anxious just thinking about it. 

The person he was thinking of was someone he was supposed to be avoiding, someone he wasn't supposed to even be thinking about. But maybe right now he could forget about that. He just needed someone, and maybe this would be the right someone for the job.

There was a phone booth down the road, under a streetlamp. Alex stepped into it and began to push the buttons until the dial tone rang, and this someone picked up.

“'Ello?” Just hearing his voice was a surprise. He didn't think he would be up this late. 

Alex bit his lip. “Damon?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damon's bedroom was a comfortable place, and the only room in his flat that Alex had not visited before. 

Various posters and pictures, mostly of musical groups or tickets from the concerts he'd been to, lined the walls, along with some bookshelves and boxes with records in them. Not to mention the various items scattered on the floor. There was a desk with a stack of paper that was most likely Damon's play script on it, and sitting nearby on the desk was a lamp that was providing the light for the room. These were all things Alex could see from where he sat on Damon's bed.

“So, you wanted to come over,” Damon stated the obvious, sitting down next to him on the bed. “What's up?”

Alex shook his head slowly, eyes glued to the floor. “I...I don't know. It's just been a rough night. I felt like I just needed to be somewhere else for a minute. Clear my head and all that.” It felt strange, being vulnerable in front of his friend, who he hadn't known that long, but Damon didn't turn away. Instead he spoke softly, understandingly. 

“What happened?”

He recounted the events at the retro diner in his head. The memory of Justine walking out was fresh in his mind. 

“I just...” How could he explain how he felt?

“I'm scared. I can't help but feel like things are on the verge of going irreversibly wrong. Do you ever feel like that?”

“Sometimes,” Damon replied.

“It's like...” He started. “It's like I'm losing grip on the past. And I don't know what that means for the future.”

Damon nodded. “I understand.”

At least someone did.

“The way I see it,” Damon shifted a little closer. “is that some things from the past you have to let go of. If you don't then there will be no future. You know what I mean?”

Alex nodded. “I think so.”

“So if you feel like part of your past is letting go of you, it may be for a good reason. Maybe it's time for you to let go of it, too.”

He looked his friend in the eye. “Thanks, Damon. I appreciate you caring.”

“Of course,” Damon smiled at him. “If I didn't care, I wouldn't have let you in.” 

What he said gave him a lot to think about. But he'd think about it later.

“Here, I know something that might cheer you up.” Damon got up and went to his desk. “You want to see the script I got?”

“Sure.”

He got up and joined him by the desk, looking down on the stapled stack of paper filled with words and dialogue. 

“That looks like a lot,” Alex marveled. “Are you gonna be able to remember all that?”

“I can sure try.” Damon smirked, then his eyes lit up like he just had an idea. “Hey! You wanna help me practice my lines?”

Alex hesitated. “I'm not that good of an actor, Damon.”

“Come onnn, it'll be fun!” He insisted. “Plus, it'll get your mind off your problems.” He winked.

Well, Alex thought, what's the worst that could happen? It wouldn't hurt to at least try. “Well...Alright.”

Damon flashed him a satisfied smile, picking up the script, and handing it to him. “Here, you can hold it, and I'll act out what I remember. You just play along.”

Alex raised an eyebrow, opening up the script to a page. “What page are we practicing?”

“Uhhh...Oh, forty five.”

“Right...” Alex flipped to that page and scanned through it. “Okay, this is the middle of a scene between...” he squinted to read the characters' names. “Jimmy Porter and Helena Charles.” He glanced at Damon hesitantly. “I don't have to be Helena, do I?”

Damon shrugged, smirking. “Well, Jimmy's been taken. I already auditioned and got the part.” 

Alex shrugged back in acceptance. He only had a few lines, it wouldn't be that bad.

“Uhh, alright, you go first. See what you remember.”

Damon straightened his posture, getting ready to shift into his character. He cleared his throat, and began to act. 

“ _What are you doing here anyway?_ ” He recited, in the most posh, annoyed voice he could, to fit the tone of the scene and the tone of his character. “ _You better keep out of my way if you don't want your head kicked in._ ”

Alex hastily glanced down at the script for his line. He wasn't expecting Damon to have remembered his that well.

He also wasn't expecting Damon's character to be this much of a prick.

“ _If you'll stop thinking about yourself for one moment I'll tell you something I think you ought to know._ ” Alex said in a slightly more high-pitched voice, since he was meant to be playing a lady. “ _Your wife is going to have a baby._ ”

He guessed that was meant to be the big shocker moment of the play. But Damon hardly reacted at all.

“ _Well?_ ” Alex prompted, reading his next line. “ _Doesn't that mean anything, even to you?_ ”

After another moment of silence, in which he was probably trying to remember what to say next, Damon nodded his head. “ _Alright, yes. I am surprised, I'll give you that..._ ” His voice trailed off, like his mind had suddenly gone blank.

“What was I...?” He walked over to where Alex was standing to look over at the script. “Oh! Okay.”

Alex smirked at him. Somehow the imperfection made Damon's performance even better for him. In fact, this experience was all very interesting to him; seeing Damon doing what he loved, and doing it very well, for that matter. No wonder he was in drama school. He really had the knack for it.

Damon cleared his throat again, shifting back into character. “ _Tell me, did you honestly expect me to go soggy at the knees and collapse with remorse?_ ” He said these cold words with an even colder tone. “ _Listen,_ ” For dramatic effect, he walked slowly over to Alex. “ _If you'll stop breathing your female wisdom all over me, I'll tell you something._ ” He was eye-to-eye with him as he spoke again. “ _I don't care._ ”

Alex shivered, his heart beating a little faster from how close they were all of a sudden. For a minute he felt like he really were Helena Charles, and he really was in this play, having a heated conversation with Jimmy Porter.

There was some sort of tension between them at that moment. The tension was unreal. He could feel it. 

“ _I don't care if she is going to have a baby and I don't care if it has two heads._ ” Damon muttered, his voice low but sharp, once again reciting his dialogue exceptionally. He then smirked, looking Alex in the eye. “ _Do I disgust you? Go on, then. Slap me._ ”

He could practically hear his heart beating in his ears. Good thing he didn't have any more lines to say, because he was absolutely speechless. Anything he had previously felt while around Damon was now amplified by ten. 

It was almost unbearable, this sensation, but oddly enough he didn't want it to end.

After glancing at the script one last time, Damon backed away, pacing in the other direction, entering a short monologue. His voice was only a little louder, but the emotion in his tone was evident. “ _For eleven hours I have been watching someone I love very much go through the sort of process of dying. She was alone and I was the only one with her. And when I have to walk behind that coffin on Thursday I'll be on my own again. Because that bitch won't even send her a bunch of flowers, I know!_ ”

As he was monologue-ing, Alex was scanning through the page one last time to see if he had to do anything else. At the bottom of the page he saw something that shocked him. Something his character was supposed to do, and he wasn't even sure whether he should do it. 

But then again, it's not like he really had any time to decide. All he knew was what his gut was telling him.

“ _And you think I should be overcome with awe because that cruel, stupid girl is going to have a baby?_ ”   
Damon's monologue was coming to a close. “ _Well, the performance is over, now leave me alone and get out, you evil-minded little-_ ”

He didn't get the chance to finish as Alex suddenly grabbed him and slammed his lips into Damon's. 

He didn't know what possessed him to act on this urge...other than the fact it was in the script, and he expected Damon to pull away immediately, but it was he that did so, as soon as he realized what he had just done. His eyes opened slowly, his lips still somewhat parted.

He started to back away a little, still in a daze. “Uh- I-I'm-”

Damon shushed him, bringing him back in. “Why did you stop?”

Through half-lidded eyes he could see Damon gazing at him; almost longingly. There were faint traces of a smile as he noticed Alex's expression.

Well in that case...

Instantly they were kissing again, more intensely now than the last time.

It was all a whirlwind. Suddenly the room was spinning; suddenly gravity felt heavier than usual as Alex found himself now laying on his back on Damon's bed, a barrage of kisses now trailing down his neck. 

“Ah, Damon...” Upon hearing his name mentioned Damon's kisses only became tougher, beginning to trail down lower and lower, in an almost hungry manner.

Alex's eyes were shut tight as he took in the sensation of at all. This couldn't be real, he thought, this had to be a dream of some sort. Everything was happening so fast. How could the rest of the world keep up?

It was like there was no rest of the world. Like everything that had happened that night leading up to this moment had simply faded away, never to have happened. There was only here, and only now.

And for the moment, he was perfectly fine with that.


	10. Chapter Ten

Alex's eyes fluttered open. Immediately met with the glare of the morning sun through the bedroom window, he squinted, until his vision adjusted and he could see more clearly. Slowly he sat up to see around the room better.

Damon's bedroom looked different than it had last night. The lamp was now off. The play script was now scattered on the desk instead of sitting in a neatly folded stack. There were articles of clothing on the floor...

Alex looked down at himself, face-to-face with his bare chest.

Articles of clothing that were probably his.

A low groan was heard, coming from next to him, causing him to look over. Damon had stirred awake, turning over to face him. His light-colored hair was messier than usual, hanging over blue, half-lidded eyes that were looking right at him.

“Oh...Good morning.”

He sounded so nonchalant about the whole thing.

“Morning.” Alex replied. 

He wasn't sure what to say next, until a dull stinging sensation gave him another reply.

“You scratched the shit out of my back.”

Damon just laughed. “You're welcome.”

He sat up, so he and Alex were at eye-level, or as eye-level as they could be, due to Alex's towering height.

The taller boy moved his fringe out of his eyes with his hand, blowing out a sigh. “But really,” he said now in a more quiet voice. “I had...a good time.”

Damon playfully raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I bet you did. If I remember correctly, you described the experience as-”

Alex shushed him loudly, blushing like mad. “You don't need to remind me, I was there, after all!”

His friend just laughed again. His laugh was like music to his ears.

He sat for just a moment to admire him. Damon didn't seem to mind.

Things were lovely until a sudden memory struck Alex.

Justine.

Oh, God. Justine.

She was probably still at his flat, wondering where the hell he was. 

And the longer he waited, the more awkward that conversation would be when he returned.

Though he really didn't want to, he pulled back the covers of the bed and slowly stood up.

He could hear the smirk in Damon's voice. “Going so soon?”

“Well,” Alex was picking his clothes up off the floor and trying to quickly get dressed. “I've got...School stuff to do.”

“It's Saturday.”

“So it is.”

Damon shook his head. “Well, I won't stop you.”

The taller boy threw on his t-shirt in record speed, and with that, he considered himself ready to head out. But before he left, he turned to look at his friend one more time.

“I'll...I'll call you later, alright?”

He smiled at him. “I'll be waiting.”

Before he left, Alex gave Damon one last kiss, though he was in such a rush it was more just like a brief brushing of the lips. Immediately afterwards he was darting out the door.

He swore he could hear Damon speak to him as he was walking away, but he didn't have any time to dwell on it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alex stood standing in front of the door to his flat for what seemed like a century. Justine was most likely inside, blissfully unaware of his presence. 

This was the calm before the storm.

But he knew he couldn't stand there forever.

He fished around in his pocket for his keys.

Nothing.

“Ssshit,” he cursed himself quietly. Where the hell were his keys?! Whatever, he'd worry about it later.

He had no choice but to knock. And knock he did.

After a few moments of silence the doorknob turned, and the door pushed back to reveal the figure of Justine herself, looking much more tired than she had since Alex last saw her.

“Back so soon?” She asked sarcastically.

“How'd you get back in?”

“You left the door unlocked.”

Alex cleared his throat. “I spent the night at a mate's house. To give you some space.”

“Space?! You-”

“Jus, can I at least come in before you yell at me?”

She huffed, but she obliged, stepping aside to let Alex enter, then promptly closing the door behind him.

“I suppose next you're gonna ask me what's wrong.”

He shook his head, plopping down onto the couch in defeat. “No, no need to ask. I know.”

Justine sat down next to him. It was clear a “talk” was going to initiate.

“Look,” she began, then paused to think. “Things just seem...Off, between us. You know? I mean, to me, at least.”

“I know. I...feel it too. Kind of.”

She said nothing in reply at first, until at last she looked over to him. The look in her eyes spoke volumes of desperate confusion.

“What is it? Is it...Is it the distance? Is that it?” She questioned. “Is it me? Is it you? Is it...” Her voice trailed off. “Is it somebody else?”

He couldn't bring himself to answer. If he were to respond it would just sound painfully halfhearted. But how could he tell the truth?

What even was the truth?

“Won't you please just talk to me?” Her voice sounded so sad, as if she were beginning to choke back tears. 

“I just- I don't know, okay?” Alex forced himself to answer, his tone harsher than intended. 

She was taken aback by the sudden outburst, her tearful eyes wide, almost fearful.

It was breaking his heart to see her heart breaking.

Gently he took her into a hug, letting her head rest on his shoulder. As she began to cry his hand rubbed in comforting circles on her back.

“I'm sorry, Jus. I'm sorry.”

A familiar feeling was beginning to sink in.

Guilt.

Terrible guilt.

As if things couldn't get any worse, there was a sudden knock on the door.

“Fucking hell,” Alex swore at it for ruining the moment. “I'll get it.” 

Gently he let go of Justine and walked over to the door, promptly unlocking and opening it.

He wasn't expecting the person standing there.

“D-Damon?”

“Oh, good, I got the right flat this time. I've disturbed half your neighbors lookin' for you.”

He extended his hand.

“You left these at my place.”

In his hand was Alex's tie he'd worn the previous night and the keys to his flat.

Justine must have been watching from the couch. She sniffled, then hummed confusedly. “B-But how did your keys end up there? They were in your-”

She paused.

“Your pants pocket...”

Alex quickly grabbed the things from Damon's hand and shoved them in his pocket. His pants pockets were so deep they could fit half of his forearm in them. 

“Must've fell out when they hit the floor.”

He absolutely did not mean to say that out loud.

Over on the couch Justine looked horrified. It looked like the realization had just hit her like a piano off a ten story building. “Wh-?! WHAT?!”

Fuck.

Alex tried to ease the situation. It was a lot like trying to fight a fire with a paper towel. “Jus, listen, let me explain-”

“NO! I don't need any more of your 'explanations', Steven.” She sprang up off the couch, fire in her eyes. “I see how it is now.”

“Jus-”

She grabbed a coat and slipped on some shoes, then finally approached him.

“I'll be back later to pack up my things.”

Her eyes swelled with tears, but in the war of sorrow and anger, the latter was overpowering.

“Goodbye.”

And with that, she darted past Damon into the hall. 

Alex knew trying to stop her would be useless.

But his problems weren't nearly over. He looked back to Damon, who had just witnessed the whole fiasco. 

No one spoke for an unnatural amount of time.


	11. Chapter Eleven

“Jesus Christ, Dames, this really is some situation.”

Graham glanced nervously at the ground while he listened to Damon vent. He was surprised when Damon had shown up to his house that afternoon, saying he really needed to talk, but who was he to turn away from a friend in their time of need? Especially one of his oldest friends. And especially in a situation like this.

“I...can't believe any of that happened.”

“It was like some fucking whirlwind.” Damon described flatly. “One minute he's helping me rehearse, the next we're shagging, then I'm givin' him back his flat keys and watchin' his girlfriend break up with him. I don't know what the hell happened.” He held his hand to his forehead, sighing deeply. “I don't know how we fucking got here.”

“What happened after that?”

“We were both shocked. He just said thanks for bringin' back his stuff and I left.” He muttered. “I felt like shit going out of there. He never told me he had a girlfriend.” He looked up at his friend. “You never told me either, honestly.”

“I didn't know you felt that way about him!”

Damon smirked a little, bit it didn't last long. “I guess it doesn't matter now.”

“What makes you say that?”

“It's obvious, Gra. I don't mean anything to him.” He shrugged. “I guess what happened that night was just...A way to pass time.”

Graham looked pensive. “I don't know. Alex isn't like that. At least not on purpose...”

“I don't know why I'm surprised, y'know? Or why I care.”

“You should talk to him, Damon. You can't just pretend what happened never happened.” Graham advised. “Things aren't going to be the way they were ever again. You can't stop while the rest of the world's still going.”

He pondered a moment over what Graham had said.

“I guess so.”

“It's the only way you're going to resolve the situation. It'll at least give you closure.”

He nodded. “Right. Okay. Maybe I'll go by later. I'm not ready just yet.”

Graham gave him an understanding smile. “And remember; none of this is your fault.”

And maybe it wasn't. 

But it hurt all the same.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The aura of silence hanging in the air of the flat was painfully awkward. 

Justine was in the living room, one-by-one putting a small stack of her clothes back into her suitcase, along with a couple other assorted necessities. Alex was there with her. He didn't want to be, but he figured he had to be.

“There's no bus back to Bournemouth until tomorrow.” She explained, her tone empty. “I just need to stay here until tomorrow.”

“Fine,” he said.

She stopped packing for a moment, staring blankly at the table. “You could've told me.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes, really!”

“And just how would I go about telling you something like that?”

“You're supposed to figure that out yourself!” Her voice was increasingly exasperated. “Because that's what couples do, they tell each other stuff like that!” Sensing no point in continuing such a pointless argument, she went back to packing. The stack of clothes was almost entirely diminished. 

He shifted nervously where he sat. “Jus, I'm sorry.”

She huffed. “What exactly are you sorry for?”

“For hurting you. For everything.” Alex's voice was sad, sincere, pleading with her. “I feel like a real prick. I feel worse than that, actually. I never wanted this to happen.”

“I'm sorry too.” Justine placed the final article of clothing in her suitcase and shut the lid. “Sorry I ever trusted you.”

With that, she took her suitcase and retreated into the other room. Alex sighed deeply. It was obvious this was a conversation that needed to be had with a clearer head. They weren't going to get anywhere at the current moment, while the shock and hurt has still yet to at least partially subside.

Slowly Alex got up and headed outside. He just needed to go for a walk or something, to clear his head, to help him think. 

This was entirely his fault. He'd quite literally made his bed, and now he had to lie in it. But he had to figure out how to solve this; not fix, it was too late to fix, but solve. Surely there had to be a way to smooth everything over so that no one would get hurt even more.

It would take some time to mull over, though.

As he reached the end of the hallway, he was met by a familiar face that stopped him in his tracks.

“Oh. Hey.”

“Hey.” Damon replied. “I was going to your flat looking for you.”

“I had to get out of there a minute.”

Damon looked around, making sure no one else was around. “Can I, uh...Can we talk?”

Oh boy. “Yeah, sure.” Alex agreed, already knowing how this conversation was going to go.

“I just...” Damon began. “I keep thinking about...last night. And this morning, before you left.”

Alex nodded, blushing slightly. “Y-Yeah.”

“And it's just...strange, to think about how we did all of that, knowing now you had a girlfriend the entire time.” He tried his best to look him in the eye. “I guess what I really wanted to ask was...why?”

Alex sighed. “I...I don't know.”

Damon's eyes narrowed. “You don't know? Is that all you can say?”

“I'm serious!” Alex snapped. He probably should have been talking much quieter, but he just didn't care. “I don't know why I called you that night, I don't know why I kissed you, I don't know why I fell for you knowing too fucking well that I was supposed to be feeling all those things for someone else! I just don't know anymore, okay?!”

Damon stepped back. This was a lot to take in.

“And now everything's fucked.” His voice was rapidly losing volume, quivering into a sob. “It's all my fault. I fucked everything up.” He held his hands to his face in shame. He felt embarrassed, being so vulnerable in front of him. “I'm sorry, Damon.” He sniffled. “I know sorry isn't enough, but it's all I have.”

Damon looked into his sad, dark eyes. In those eyes he saw sincerity, brought on by a love since sealed away. In the back of his mind he knew he shouldn't, but...

He stepped up to him and wrapped his arms around him. 

Alex didn't pull away. It was slightly comforting, feeling Damon's warmth again. It was at least a relief that Damon didn't entirely hate his guts.

“I can tell what you're feeling,” he said softly. “You don't know what you want.”

Alex sighed. “You're right. I don't.”

Damon was torn. There was a part of him that still felt for Alex, yet another part that knew better than to immediately jump back into his arms and pretend none of this occurred.

“I think,” he started. “maybe, we should find each other again when we both know what we want.”

Alex looked up at him, his eyes wide, his heart sinking. “Y-You mean-?”

He nodded, and Alex understood.

Still, neither of them let go for another moment.

“Damon?” Alex asked in a soft voice.

“Hm?”

“Is this goodbye?”

He hummed in thought. “Not forever.” He replied quietly. “Just for now.”

Alex knew it had to be this way. That it should be this way. That their talk could've had a much worse outcome, that Damon was being very merciful to him after the way he had acted. That he didn't deserve it.

But it hurt all the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the ANGST LMFAO this physically hurt to write also fun fact in the middle of the damon and alex talking scene my fucking writing program crashed and LOST THE WHOLE PROGRESS OF THE SCENE SO I HAD TO REWRITE IT FROM MEMORY RRRGHH I HATED THAT SO MUCH but it's okay lmao also dw the story isn't over yet THEY WILL MAKE UP I PROMISE ;-; but as always thank you for reading i hope you enjoyed!!! ;]


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